Being called to joy in a less than joyous time.

Joy: the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

Throughout the first few months of this year, I have encountered this word countless times. I’ve read it, I’ve heard it, I’ve thought about it, and I’ve talked about it with others. It has come up in both intentional conversation, and in casual scrolls through social media alike. It has interwoven itself into so many instances, in fact, that I became unable to continue to simply acknowledge its coincidence. During this time of stillness, I became ready to understand. I became open to pondering its consistent and seemingly divine presence in this most peculiar time.

If I’m honest, I’ve been extremely frustrated, angry even, with this calling to think about joy at the present moment. What personally brings me the most joy is something that I am not currently able to do. How am I supposed to be joyous when I can’t be in my classroom? When I can’t be with my students? When I can’t have my normal? And I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

I know what joy looks like, on my own terms.

And while that’s good to a certain extent, there also lies my problem. Joy that is built into how we spend our days, joy that comes without much searching, is a blessing. I feel joy in spending my days with my students, even on the hardest days. But, trying to actively seek joy in the midst of this chaos? In the absence of what makes my heart full? In not knowing what tomorrow will bring? That’s harder.

What this strange and uncertain time is teaching me, is that I have a choice every day. To choose joy or not. I can choose to find joy in the fact that my family is healthy. I can choose to find joy in the fact that technology exists where I can remain present in the lives of my students. I can choose to find joy in the stillness. Or I can choose frustration. Bitterness. Negativity.

Every day is a new opportunity to choose.

I say all of this not to suggest that we’re living in a season of unicorns and rainbows that we’ve all turned a blind eye to. This time is challenging, scary, and uncertain, and we’re allowed to feel those things, too. Processing these feelings and trying to see the good, is just that, a process. And believe me when I say I find myself wanting to lean into my anxious, negative feelings more often than the positive ones. But seeking it out in even the smallest of things is a step in the right direction. It’s worth taking the time to look for.

If you’re struggling in this season, know that you are not alone. I am praying for healing, strength, peace, reassurance, and joy. May we all support each other on this journey, even if it’s from afar, and trust that joy will find us when we take the time to look.

A few thoughts about failure.

As I was cleaning out my desk a couple of weeks ago for new furniture to be brought into my classroom, I came across this prayer box that I received from an incredibly caring and supportive coworker prior to my first year of teaching. The idea behind it is that we write down the things weighing heavy on our hearts, in an act of laying down our worry/stress/anxiety/doubt at the Lord's feet. Curious, I opened the box to find a few things that I wrote down in the very early days of my teaching journey. 

• "I feel like I'm not doing enough to help my students grow."
• "I just can't seem to get things under control in my classroom."
• "I feel like a failure."

I remember the girl who wrote these things. I know that she desperately wanted to make a difference in the lives of her students.  I know that she struggled to find balance. I know that she was trying to be "all the things". I know she wrote these things from a place of immense frustration with herself, and she was so focused on what she felt she was doing wrong, she was unwilling to allow herself to honor the fact that she was newly figuring everything out.

What I've learned in the time since is that these feelings are not exclusive to the first year of teaching. I undoubtedly still have days where I feel like I’ve failed, like I’m not doing enough, and like I just can't get things under control. I'll probably echo the same things in a few years, too. But I know now that it's all part of the journey. You're going to have triumphant days where everything goes right as expected, and you'll also have the opposite. 

As a young, single person without children of my own, I am currently in a place where teaching is my life. Those 100 kids who come into my room every day hold a bigger place in my heart and mind than they'll ever know. Because of that I am always reflecting over and re-evaluating my practice and what I can do better, not out of obligation, but because I want to be the best that I can be for them. I'm not much for cutting myself slack, but I know that when learning how to do something well, you're going to fail. You're going to make mistakes. But more importantly, you're going to learn how to give yourself grace while doing so. I remind my students of this truth daily, but it is one that I also need to fully accept for myself.

Teaching is hard. And I know that that’s true whether you’re in year 1 of your career or year 25. In the 2 and 1/4 years that I've been at it, I've learned that what matters most is that you’re showing up, meeting kids where they are, and providing them with love and support as they learn and grow. I feel so blessed to have a job that allows for growth in so many facets. I get to witness and celebrate growth in my students, as they clear hurdles that they didn't originally think they could. And I get to share and celebrate how it's growing me, too.

God's timing is funny. I know I was meant to come across those early prayers when I did. Today I am grateful for His reminder that we're all on a journey of learning how to be the best version of ourselves. It's not meant to be a perfect journey, but love and learning enables it to be an undoubtedly beautiful one.

A Quick Note About Guilt-Free Spending

Recently I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across a post by @thedesignerteacher with this photo. This text image was created with the idea of guilt-free teacher self-care in mind, which I fully support. I’ve only taught for two years, but in that short time I have definitely come to better understand the necessity of prioritizing taking care of me. I can't be my best for my students if I'm consistently depleted of my own energy. Learning about what self care looks like for me and allowing myself to actively practice it has been a process. But I'm working at it.

This image struck me because of its truth. My time outside of school is mine. To spend however I see fit. Maybe that means vegging out on the couch watching Netflix for the rest of the afternoon. Maybe that means getting caught up on grading. Or maybe it means going for a run. getting coffee with a friend, or catching the soccer game after school that your students asked you to come to. You get to define your down time and you get to evaluate what you need. This will ultimately change from day to day or situation to situation. It may mean finding balance between taking care of others and taking time for yourself, but that’s okay. There's no right or wrong way to spend my time beyond my classroom walls, and the same goes for you. As educators, we are hard enough on ourselves when it comes to so many other aspects of our jobs, but down time doesn’t belong on that list. Spend your time guilt-free. You deserve it!

Year 2 In Review

I recently completed my second year of teaching...

Boy, it feels weird to write that because it doesn't seem real! The past two years have been an absolute whirlwind, filled with learning, laughter, trials & errors, a few tears, and relationship building with a lot of amazing kids. Today I'd like to give you a small glimpse into my second year of teaching. I'm excited to share about new things that I tried and lessons that I learned along the way.

1. I taught two grade levels. I taught 7th grade exclusively my first year, but picked up 6th grade this year as well. When I first found out that this was what I'd be teaching, I was admittedly nervous. While the rational part of me knew that these two groups are not inherently different, it felt quite the opposite. In the world of 6th grade I felt a bit like a baby giraffe, as I navigated the needs of a new and younger age group. At times I struggled with guilt. When I was in a good groove with one grade level, I'd ultimately feel like I wasn't doing enough for the other. Over time I learned and allowed myself to accept, however, that the two groups can look different and still be learning and growing. One class doesn't have to be a mirror image of the other, and nobody expects them to be. While there were definitely some challenges along the way, I LOVED getting the opportunity to work with two different groups of students. I got to see the newness of middle school that I often forget about as a 7th grade teacher as my 6th graders were experiencing it. Teaching multiple grade levels stretched my abilities in ways that I didn't expect and I learned a lot about balance and giving myself grace in the process. 

2. I found my (teacher) voice. And no, I don't mean the serious voice I use in my classroom when I mean business, LOL. This took shape for me in a couple of different ways. First, I found rich and authentic community through Twitter and this blog. I immersed myself in a digital PLN, a group of people from all walks of education who share ideas with and support each other. This platform enabled me to share my thoughts and experiences, ask questions, and gain valuable insight from people who are passionate about helping kids learn and grow. The second avenue through which I established my voice was through presenting at professional development. In a previous post I detailed my entire presenting experience, which you check out here. It is still a moment that I am both surprised by and proud of!

3. I introduced new projects and learning activities. Something that I've learned about myself these past two years is that I love trying new things in my classroom. I say I've discovered that about myself because I'm usually one who clings to the security of the norm and what's familiar. I play it safe in many areas of my life, but not in teaching. My absolute favorite thing about teaching RLA is getting the opportunity to make literature come to life. I love figuring out ways to make reading real, tangible, and memorable. With every novel we read in my class, I try to incorporate an experiential project that allows my students to step into the life and circumstances of the people that we're reading about. For example, when we read A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park, I stage our own water walk where students have to fetch water in gallon jugs and carry it for an extended period of time, just as the main character Nya has to fetch water to sustain her family. While I didn't come up with this idea (though I wish I did!), I have helped my students make this project their own and I know that it has made and will continue to make an impact. This experience fosters perspective and empathy for the main character that they may not have otherwise obtained. A NEW tangible learning experience from this year that I'm really proud of is the Titanic Wax Museum that we put on. I'm currently working on a whole separate post detailing this project, as it had many moving parts, but planning it was a new and exciting experience. In short, we read Titanic: Voices from the Disaster by Deborah Hopkinson, where we learned about countless Titanic passengers and crew members who experienced the disaster firsthand. After reading about these people, I assigned each student a passenger and they were tasked with bringing that person to life. They researched them, prepared a speech and visual, and then dressed the part, all in the interest of embodying that person and telling their story. It was such a cool project and one that many students told me was their favorite at the end of the year! More on that coming soon. :)


My second year of teaching had its own challenges and successes alike, but more than anything I'm so grateful for another year spent doing what I love at a place that I love. I adore my job and this year only reaffirmed that I'm doing exactly what I was meant to. Year 3 has already got me trying on a new hat--coaching! I cannot wait to see what else it will bring! :)

I guess it really is true what they say about comfort zones.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch

If you had told me a few years ago that as a second year teacher I'd stand before other educators and talk to them about ways to foster meaningful connections in the online education community, or ANYTHING really, I probably would have laughed. 

Scratch that, I undoubtedly would have laughed, turned around to see if you were talking to someone behind me, and probably asked you if you were feeling okay.

In a society that is always encouraging us to be more outspoken, social, and opinionated, being the quiet girl can be tough. If you know me at all, you can attest to the fact that I'm pretty much always looking to avoid situations that require me to speak publicly. By nature, I am a reserved and introverted creature, two traits that I have been defined by for as long as I can remember. With these things in mind, I'm sure you can imagine the fear and anxiety that ultimately set in when the opportunity to share at our district's Professional Learning Summit presented itself. I'm someone whose natural inclination is to reject, resist, and retreat from any situation that might push me out of the safe and warm confines of my comfort zone. 

Despite it all, though, I found myself saying yes. 

Feeling like the least qualified person to be presenting to other teachers, I was overwhelmed with the seemingly endless directions that my session could go in. Having attended the Tennessee Educational Technology Conference back in November, I knew I wanted to focus in on technology, but...Blogging? Edu websites? Twitter? Something Google related? Digital review games? LITERALLY. SO. MANY. OPTIONS. Considering that I wanted to offer genuine and applicable insight about something that I am passionate about, I needed to take a quick step back to reflect. I asked myself questions like "What's been working for me?" and "What have I learned lately that has impacted my teaching practice?". Then it occurred to me. Over the past couple of months, I have really leaned into the education community on Twitter and have been amazed at the invaluable insight and genuine support that is out there. In a very short amount of time, I've learned so much and connected with educators near and far. Before I knew it, my session began to take shape.

I spent the next couple of weeks tirelessly prepping for and panicking about my first professional development presenting experience, pulling in what I hoped would be helpful information for Twitter newbies.

On the day of the Summit, I'm not sure my acting skills were enough to conceal my feelings of nervousness and doubt. I knew that I had taken my time to adequately prepare, but I struggled to silence that little voice in my head that was telling me I wasn't qualified to be doing something like this. I'd had encouragement every step of the way, from settling on a topic to planning my session to walking into the classroom where I was presenting, but I really struggled to get out of my own head. A few minutes before Session #1 was set to begin, I began readying my slides on my computer (and saying a silent prayer that I wouldn't pass out, or worse, have technical difficulties). The room began to fill with those who had signed up for my session. When I built up the courage to take a peek at who was there, I noticed that each filled chair was occupied by a member of my WMS family, who had so graciously chosen to spend their valuable time with me. I breathed a sigh of relief and was overcome by a feeling of reassurance that, maybe, I was going to be able to pull it off after all. The support I had that day made all the difference in the world and meant more to me than my colleagues will ever know. 

The next 45 minutes were a blur as I delivered a crash course in Professional Learning Networks and Twitter basics. We talked about the benefits of making connections in this giant world of education and even had our own mock Twitter chat. I got to talk about something that I've grown to be very passionate about with fellow educators who support and inspire me every day. Something else happened during that session, too... I survived. I did something that day that I never thought I'd do, something that took a lot more fear facing than some may realize. But it ended up being such a great experience, and one that I know enabled me to grow as an educator and as a person.

I learned a couple of things from my experience that day that I'd like to share. First, your voice is valuable. Nobody else sees the world through your eyes. You don't have to wait around until you reach a specific level of worthiness in order to share your perspective and experiences. You're free to choose what this means for you. For us teachers, maybe this looks like being more open to sharing your ideas aloud in PLC meetings, or maybe it means starting your own teacher blog or Twitter account. Regardless of how you choose to share, let your voice be heard! Finally, cliche as is may sound, do more of what scares you. I fully understand that this is easier said than done, but as someone who has recently survived an experience that really challenged me, I can promise you that it's so so worth it. There is beauty to be found and growth to be achieved in trying trying new things. 
I guess it really is true what they say about comfort zones. :)

I'd like to say an extra special thank you to each of my colleagues who supported me by coming to my session and to Dr. Mick Shuran for your encouragement along the way!

An Open Letter to My Pre-Teacher Self

At the time of my writing this, I am about a week shy of my 24th birthday. As a reflective creature, I've spent some time over the past week or so thinking about what the past few years have looked like for me in terms of my journey to becoming a teacher. The time between high school graduation and college graduation felt like simultaneously the slowest and quickest years of my life, truly a whirlwind. As a young woman who now has real teaching experience in her own classroom, I often think about that young girl, fresh out of high school with a heart for making a difference in the lives of kids. If I could talk to my 18 year old self and offer her encouragement and advice, this is what I'd tell her. Pre-teacher Courtney, this one's for you.


Dear Courtney,

Congratulations. You're a recent high school graduate with your heart set on becoming a teacher. You didn't choose teaching, teaching chose you, and one day you'll fully understand the depth of what that means. I know you're excited about what the future will bring, but you're also feeling anxious and uncertain, and that's okay. Contrary to what you currently believe, you're not the only person your age who doesn't have it all figured out. As someone who knows how the early chapters of your story unfold, I want to tell you a few things. 

First, let's talk about college. Yes, you made the right choice with MTSU. Going there will enable you to live at home and grow in your roles as a daughter and a sister. It will also allow you to keep a job where you'll gain invaluable experience with children and families every day. You'll WILL get over your fear of driving and before you know it, you'll even be comfortable taking the interstate to school. You go girl! As it turns out, there are more struggles with being a commuter than just the drive. It will be a bit of a lonely time for you, as high school friendships fade and fall to the wayside.  You'll spend as little time on campus as you can get away with in the beginning as you adjust to your newfound autonomy and responsibility as a college student. You won't really have much of a niche, not until later. Those first two years will feel like a drag as you get through general education classes, but you'll make it. The one thought that will keep you motivated through it all? Your future students. Eventually, you'll finally get into Education classes that'll provide you with the knowledge that you've craved for years. You will finally be among people who have goals similar to yours. You'll thrive during this time as you soak up a plethora of information about the inner workings of classrooms and your future responsibilities. (Later on, you'll even take a condensed class that'll require you to read 13 novels in 14 days. Seriously. Get the coffee ready.) This time in its entirety will ultimately shape your character in a big way. You'll spend a lot of time contemplating whether you're doing things right, but in time you'll learn to trust that you are. 

Next, let's talk student teaching. I know that this is one of the things you fear most because you're a perfectionist and you don't want anyone to see you mess up. Student teaching will not turn out to be the nightmare that you currently envision. God will truly look out for you on this one. Are you ready? You'll get not one, but two amazing placements. One elementary, one middle. You'll have two amazing mentors who will support you and influence you in the best ways. You'll meet students who will hold a special place in your heart forever. This time will also characterized as a time of testing and big projects that determine whether or not you get to fulfill this dream of yours. It'll be stressful, but it all works out in the end. One piece of advice. Get comfortable with waiting and anticipation. 

Finally, I'll address the one question that you still have. You know the one I'm talking about. Where will I end up teaching? I know you've got your heart set on getting the opportunity to one day teach within the walls of a place that's very special to you, but let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet. For starters, you'll have a few interviews. You'll be nervous, but you'll leave each one feeling immense gratitude for the chance to talk with and be considered by different schools. On the day that you think will be the last of your interviews, you'll get a call for one final one. The one. Your nervousness and anxiety for previous interviews will be far outweighed by this one, but you'll leave there feeling like you left it all on the table. Remember what I told you about waiting and anticipation. In the waiting you'll have to make a choice. You'll have to take a leap of faith and trust that things will work out the way they're supposed to...

And after a few years of long days, sleepless nights, hard work, stress, MANY miles put on the car, successes, failures, and a few tears shed along the way, you'll get a call. The call. An invitation for you to come back to a place that has always felt like home. A dream come true.

There's so much more that I could tell you about your journey, but I've got to let you figure out some things organically, in the moment. Just know this, it'll be a challenging ride, but also a remarkably beautiful and rewarding one. You've got this. 

Love, 
Your Future Self

#TeacherGoals

I love the feeling of a new year. I equate the way a new year makes me feel to the way I feel when I buy a new journal or a new pair of shoes. Excited. Hopeful. Motivated. There is nothing like that feeling of newness, fresh starts, and clean slates. As someone who can be overly reflective at times (i.e., agonizing over what I could've done differently in most situations), I definitely spend a good amount of time at the beginning of a new year considering areas of my life that I'd like to grow in personally, professionally, and everything in between. Today I'd like to share about my new year teacher goals and intentions, in the hopes that getting them out of my head will help to hold me accountable. Here are a few things I'd really like to focus in on!

1. Giving more timely feedback. This is probably the most concrete goal on my list. This goal simply stems from my habit of letting student work stack up on my desk for a long time. Usually, by the time my students get some of their graded work back from me, they've forgotten what we were even working on in the first place. A lot of student learning comes from the feedback and reinforcement that they get from teachers. In the interest of helping my students grow in the skills that we're working on, I want to get better about giving them quality feedback quicker.

-How I can grow in this area: I'd like to start by allocating a few minutes of my planning time each week to grading and providing the written feedback that my students need. I feel like this is a very simple shift for me, from using my planning period to do a miscellaneous host of things, to being more intentional with the time that I have. In the long run, I think getting helpful commentary on a more consistent basis will undoubtedly benefit my students, but I think this will also help me bring less student work home and avoid the dreaded mountain of work to grade at the end of the quarter.

2. Reminding my students that they are welcome, worthy, and valued. It's so easy to get caught up in the chaos of planning, grading, paperwork, meetings, and everything involved with growing the minds of our students. Our jobs are busy and different every day, making flexibility paramount. But we have to remember our why. We do all that we do out of a genuine desire to help kids learn, evolve, and flourish. Our students are the very heart of our work. I have 114 students who walk into my classroom every day, but strip that "student" label away and you have 114 children. 114 human beings. 114 souls, trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in this world. As they figure those things out, they need extra love, support, and understanding. That's where we come in.

-How I can grow in this area: Making more time for authentic conversations. Telling kids that they're seen, important, and cared for. Encouraging kids to pursue the things that they're interested in. Supporting kids at extracurricular events. Reminding myself that the relationships we create with students require consistent nurturing, but taking the time to do these things is so worth it.

3. Continue reading, learning, and trying new things. I'm not much for cutting myself slack. If I feel like I've messed up in my classroom, I'm not quick to let myself forget about it. When I sit back and think about it, however, I can acknowledge that I'm still very much in the process of establishing who I am as a teacher. This is year #2 for me. I need to embrace this time for what it is and allow myself to fully experience it.

-How I can grow in this area: My to-be-read pile of education books is a mile high with books that I'm confident will provide me with different insights, strategies, and  to weave into my own teaching practice. I'd definitely like to designate some down time for diving into those. Beyond the learning that books provide, I'd like to be more open to letting myself fail. I'd say that I'm pretty open to trying new things in my classroom, be it dressing up in character for a novel study or incorporating new technology. I don't plan these things, however, with the possibility of failure in mind. While we obviously want things to work seamlessly day in and day out, that's simply not realistic. I think I need to be more mindful of the possibility of things not always working out, and what I can learn from those moments when they come up. It's these learning experiences, both the successes and the failures, that are ultimately molding me into the teacher that I'm meant to be.

4. Keep growing my PLN. I haven't been active in the online educator community for very long, but in the time that I have been here, I've been so inspired by other teachers! I've learned all kinds of EdTech tips, participated in Twitter chats, and connected with people in the education world that I may not have otherwise connected with. I want to keep sharing and fostering genuine connections with those who are committed to creating engaging, inclusive, and supportive learning spaces. I'm excited to see all that I can learn from the amazing digital education community in the next year!

-How I can grow in this area: Keep sharing. Keep tweeting. Keep blogging. Keep supporting fellow educators in the pursuit of providing students with the quality education that they deserve!

I'd love to hear about your professional goals for the new year. Leave me a comment here or tweet me @MissCEaton on Twitter. Let's root for each other!

Wishing you the best,
Courtney